1. Hey, it beats folding laundry. You’re my favorite thing to do on Valentine’s Day.
2. You’ll never look at your kid’s cocoa the same way again We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You’re hot and I want to be on top of you.
3. Suds are so sexy. You’re my favorite shower buddy.
4. Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog. You’re the only weiner for my bun.
5. Unexpected interpretation “I can see you... cumming in my hair tonight.” Or whatever Phil Collins said.
6. Particularly if it’s pump-ernickel bread. Q: What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A: “I want you inside me.”
7. Or the couch. Or the loo. I love you to the bedroom and back.
8. Finally found the G-spot. You’re cliterally the best.
9. It’s a cunning joke. Roses are red Violets are blue Get on your knees You know what to do.
10. Spoiler: It’s from The Lion King You can hakuna ma tata’s anytime.
11. Straight to the point. It’s Valentine’s Day. We should probably have sex.
12. TBH, it’s a big bow and arrow Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you happy to see me?
13. Big on the booty I like your style, I like your class. But most of all, I like your ass.
14. You never know what you’re gonna get I will eat you like a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates.
15. Every rose has its thorn Guys are like roses. Watch out for the pricks.
16. With a side of sausage, please. You’re like breakfast: great in bed.
17. Not the way you remember it from childhood Roses are red Violets are blue I’m using my hand I was thinking of you.
18. It rhymes with “clock” I love you around the clock I love your body, your mind and your soul And not just your massive… heart.
19. This ain’t Build-A-Bear, baby I don’t want a stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day. Stuff me instead.
20. It’s like buttah I’m like butter. You can spread me anytime.